My World Came Crashing Down, But Dawn is Beautiful

In the early morning hours of April 2, 2007, I lost my best friend, husband and father of my children. When I found out that Jason had passed, my world came crashing down. I wondered, in the aftermath, how I would survive that moment, let alone our lives.

Every year since, I always set this time apart, intentionally taking several days to do beautiful things with my daughters as a way of honoring Jason’s life and our family. Tomorrow will mark 9 years for me as a widow.

This year, I am amazed as I reflect on God’s faithfulness. I was furious with God then, and now, I really do see how choosing to stay with God, even when you don’t understand the path, initially despise the path, results eventually in joy. Real joy and healing. Never joy in the loss, but new joy in God using your pain for His purpose. The joy of seeing God move and allowing me to play, however minor a roll, in sparking joy or hope in someone else’s life as they go through grief.

I could not imagine, then, that this hope was possible. That our hearts could feel healthy again. We didn’t do it alone, the love and generosity of amazing, talented, exceptionally kind friends and family were our lifeline. I thought for a time that my life was over, that we would never really laugh again…and while, certainly, I miss Jason and the girls miss their father…we find ourselves deeply grateful now for his time in our lives and for the beautiful family my late husband helped create and is still a part of.

I know he waits for us at the finish line of this life…but now…today as I quietly reflect, I am stunned at how your support and love truly helped and helps us still rebuild a life that, while wildly different from my original plan, is still incredibly beautiful. This gift of connection, of generous love in the face of loss, is a gift of God, certainly, and also a gift Jason’s life helped spark.

Thank you, friends and family, for helping us run this race of life in such a way that we see the light of a new day. And the Dawn is Beautiful…By the Grace of God and the amazing connection of genuine community, we will run the race set before us. See you at the Finish, Love.